徐凯文谈学生心理健康：社会、父母和学校，都努力在让孩子们“经受折磨”
<div class="wx_rich_media_content" id="jsWxContainer"><p style="text-align: center;" data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"></span></p><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section label="Copyright Reserved by PLAYHUDONG." donone="shifuMouseDownCard('shifu_c_008')" style="margin-right: 0em;margin-left: 0em;padding: 0.5em 1em;outline: 0px;border-style: none;background-color: rgb(235, 235, 235);visibility: visible;"><section style="outline: 0px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><section label="Copyright Reserved by PLAYHUDONG." donone="shifuMouseDownCard('shifu_c_008')" style="margin-right: 0em;margin-left: 0em;padding: 0.5em 1em;outline: 0px;border-style: none;visibility: visible;"><section style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"><section style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"><section style="margin: 24px 16px 16px;outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.578px;visibility: visible;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;">今天分享的文章，再次请出徐凯文老师，谈一谈现在儿童青少年的“空心病”——</span></section><section style="margin-right: 16px;margin-bottom: 16px;margin-left: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">“北大四成新生认为活着没有意义”，徐凯文在2016年的一次演讲中指出，价值观缺陷导致部分大学生心理障碍，并称之为“空心病”。该词一经提出，引发社会热议。</span></section><section style="margin-right: 16px;margin-bottom: 16px;margin-left: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">其实<strong>“空心病”不光存在于学生群体，更是我们这个时代的病症</strong>。</span></section><section style="margin-right: 16px;margin-bottom: 16px;margin-left: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">学生们到底怎么了？为什么会有这样的现象？这又意味着什么，对家庭教育的启示又是什么？</span></section><section style="margin-right: 16px;margin-bottom: 16px;margin-left: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">在和景芳的对谈中，徐凯文从“空心病”的成因和表现说起，回答了父母关于“孩子脆弱”的困惑，指出解决青少年心理问题的关键所在。对没有兴趣和活力的孩子如何复原，他也给出了中肯的建议，更是指明父母该如何从心理上陪伴孩子健康成长。</span></section><section style="margin-right: 16px;margin-left: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">本文是景芳和徐凯文直播对谈内容精华整理。</span></section><section style="margin-right: 16px;margin-left: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><p><br></p></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><p><span style="color: rgb(47, 40, 40);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">嘉宾介绍</span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">徐凯文，精神科主治医师，青少年心理危机干预专家，大儒心理创始人，北京大学临床心理学博士，社会热议现象“空心病”的提出者。曾任北京大学心理健康教育与咨询中心副主任、总督导。</span></p></section></section></section><p powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><br></p><p powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><br></p><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">我本科学的是临床医学，毕业后做精神科医生，后来在北大心理系读硕读博，09年留校，在北大学生心理健康教育咨询中心工作了12年。21年辞职创业。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">过去三年我们和全国10多个城市300多个一线心理老师和校长进行了深入座谈，也对一些极端事件进行了深入剖析，还对至少1万多人次的青少年进行了心理咨询，所以有机会走进他们的内心世界。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">现在有些父母或者成年人觉得，如今的年轻人怎么这么脆弱，我们上学的时候父母老师也都打过我们，我们好像就没事，怎么现在学生动不动就躺家里不上学了，是不是太矫情了？</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">我想说说我对这个问题的基本看法。</span></p><p><br></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><br></section></section><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;text-align: start;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);color: rgb(0, 0, 0);visibility: visible !important;width: 69px !important;"></span></strong></span></p><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><strong style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);color: rgb(255, 255, 255);letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"> 01 </span></strong></strong></strong></span></p><p powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;letter-spacing: 0.034em;">来自父母辈的困惑：</span><br></strong></span></p><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;">现在的年轻人怎么这么脆弱，</span></strong></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;">大不如我们当年</span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">我对这个问题的理解是基于我们做的那些课题研究和心理咨询，基于对青少年们心理的理解，这是前提。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">第一、要说他们脆弱，确实是挺脆弱。因为这些抑郁、厌学甚至极端事件，确实是以前少见的。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">但我经常会用一个成语来形容这个现象，叫——<strong>刻舟求剑</strong>。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">我们无法用二三十年前我们的经历来理解现在的孩子，因为时代发生了巨大的变化。<strong>现在孩子的学业难度和竞争内卷程度远远高于我们那个年代。</strong></span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">孩子们不仅做的题目变难了，他们的睡眠时间也变短了，户外活动时间也大大减少，孩子们最基本的需求都被剥夺了，这跟我们全社会，包括父母、学校的影响都分不开。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">第二、父母可能会觉得，我当年也很苦，但我也很拼，而且也通过读书从农村来到了城市定居，实现了阶层的跃迁。为什么现在的孩子吃不得苦？</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">你要明白，我们是赶上了改革开放的红利期，在那样的时代背景下，个人努力加上国家的发展和复兴，可以积累财富到比较好的社会阶层。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">可如今孩子这一代人已经在一个富裕的社会了，他们不再有那么强的动力，要通过读书改变命运。<strong>在物质上他们也没有那么多欲望，不需要靠贫穷来驱动。要靠什么找到人生的价值和意义，这是社会和家长都要回答的问题。</strong></span></p><p><br></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><br></section></section><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;text-align: start;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);color: rgb(0, 0, 0);visibility: visible !important;width: 69px !important;"></span></strong></span></p><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><strong style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);color: rgb(255, 255, 255);letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"> 02 </span></strong></strong></strong></span></p><p powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;letter-spacing: 0.034em;">解决青少年心理健康问题</span><br></strong></span></p><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;">就两点，既简单又很难</span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">其实我现在做的这些课题是要解答一个问题，怎么把青少年心理健康问题给解决好。我有非常简单的方案，这个方案不需要花很大努力，就一定能够使我们青少年的心理健康水平有明显提升，或者心理问题发生率明显下降。</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;"><br></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;">一是守住孩子们每天8-9个小时的睡眠的线；</span><br></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;"><br></span></strong></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">二是守住孩子们每天3-4个小时的户外活动的线。</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">如果这两件事情有保障，一半以上的心理问题不会再存在，不用吃一片药、也不用做一分钟心理咨询。原因很简单，如果一个人睡眠不能保证、基本的运动不能保证，他一定是会出心理问题的。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">在我们那个年代，至少我所经历过的，哪怕到高三能做到这些都是没问题的，可现在可能小学生都做不到，所以这是非常荒诞的现象。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><strong><br></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><strong>我们全社会、父母和学校，都努力在让孩子们经受折磨。</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">想要做到这两点，又何其难。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;"><br></span></p><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;text-align: start;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);color: rgb(0, 0, 0);visibility: visible !important;width: 69px !important;"></span></strong></span></p><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><strong style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);color: rgb(255, 255, 255);letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"> 03 </span></strong></strong></strong></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;letter-spacing: 0.034em;">“空心病”到底是什么？</span><br></strong></span></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;">有什么表现和危机？</span></strong></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><br></span></strong></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">“空心病”这个词是比喻，但它确实是一种病，你可以称它为微笑抑郁。它和行为举止异常的重精神病不一样，好像情绪上没什么大的问题，没有情绪低落、思维变迟缓或者睡眠障碍，各方面表现都正常。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">但严重的情况下，社会功能会严重丧失，使一个人失去了生活的方向，甚至陷入抑郁自杀的程度。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">空心病涉及到以往心理学研究的一个无人区，就是人有没有精神世界。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><strong>当一个人理想信仰价值观缺失的时候，他的精神生活可能是崩塌的，不知道人生的价值和意义是什么，所以它也是个终极问题。</strong></span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">我2016年真正给这个词命名有一个非常重要的原因，因为有个学生特别优秀，科研很厉害，性格也特别好，是北大的博士生，当年寒假放弃了自己的生命。她就是非常典型的空心病。</span></p><p><br></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">很大程度上空心病也是时代病，是这个比较焦虑和迷茫的时代中出现的一种现象。</span></strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"></span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">大家可以发现，往往是学习很好的孩子更容易出空心病。为什么这种对精英、第一名的追求没办法成为空心病患者的精神支柱？</span></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><br></section></section><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;text-align: start;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);color: rgb(0, 0, 0);visibility: visible !important;width: 69px !important;"></span></strong></span></p><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><strong style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);color: rgb(255, 255, 255);letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"> 04 </span></strong></strong></strong></span></p><p powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;letter-spacing: 0.034em;">为什么学习好的孩子</span><br></strong></span></p><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;">更容易出现空心病？</span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">我最早发现空心病是在清北的学生当中。通过疯狂的内卷和竞争进到清北的学生，在 “学习是竞争出来的”这种教育观影响下，形成的心态是极其扭曲的。这也是空心病的重要特征。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">这些孩子真的有自我厌恶和自我否定，严重到决定放弃自己生命的程度。为什么会这样？</span></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><br></p></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">1．哪怕再成功，对评价都有恐惧。</span></strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">我举个例子，当时我把他们组织起来做了个团体治疗。在热身阶段让每个人说下自己的特点，后来在介绍他们时，学生们都纷纷说，老师，请不要评价我们。这很意外，因为我只是重复了他们的介绍，而且这些用语都是积极的。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">他们说他们对评价有恐惧。每次考试都是一次评价，每次评价都让他们焦虑很长时间，所以他们不管再成功，对评价都是有恐惧的。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;">有办法逃离评价恐惧吗？</span><br></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">首先，得先把身体还不是心理上的焦虑先放下来。千万不要为了多考一两分或者考上一个什么样的大学，把亲子关系给毁掉了，这是绝对得不偿失的；</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">其次，家长先处理好自己的焦虑，不要为没发生的事情担心。不是考不上好大学一切就毁了，人生路没有那么窄。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">保有孩子对学习、生活的热情、对这个世界的好奇、和他的创造力本身，这才是决定今后人生的关键性因素。</span></p></section></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><br></p></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">2.不得不做自己厌恶的事，就转而厌恶自己</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">他们清楚，现在努力学习只是为了多考几分，为了迎合某种社会评价标准，这些没有掌握新东西、也没有创造力的无价值无意义的事情，他们是很厌恶的，可又不得不做，就转而厌恶自己。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">很多年轻的孩子身体却有极大的痛苦。因为肌肉长期紧张得不到放松，甚至出现了老年病——腰椎间盘突出。</span></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><br></section></section><p powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;">如何帮助孩子重建兴趣和活力？</span></p><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><br></p></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">第一步、追求单纯的乐趣</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">放下一切，回到本真的状态。让孩子先恢复对生活的感受和乐趣，这是恢复心理健康的第一步。比如领略大好河山、品尝美食、感受大自然、享受运动、感受音乐美术等艺术。</span></p><p><br></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">第二步、寻找有价值有意义的事情</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><p powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">一是<strong>利他</strong>。不是说我现在挣点钱只适合给别人，而是说我做的这个事情，我的聪明才智是有价值有意义，是对社会有贡献的。</span></p><p powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;"><br></span></p><p powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;">如何有利他之心？</span><br></p><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">一是给孩子创造一个有利身心健康成长的环境，这是底线；</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">二是要家长做给他看，把他内心中本来就有的良知给唤醒、激发出来，或者让他自然展现出来。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">二是<strong>创造性</strong>。不是我比他多练习了，而是我听从内心的呼唤，充分发挥自己的创造力后，做出来的是自己内心觉得很牛的事情。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">当然，发自内心的喜好，真的需要父母从小能给孩子一些体验和感受，如果父母不管孩子干什么，第一反应就是评价和成就，能不能获奖，能不能加分，这就不能说在兴趣爱好里获得了内心的滋养。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.034em;"><br></span></p><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;text-align: start;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);color: rgb(0, 0, 0);visibility: visible !important;width: 69px !important;"></span></strong></span></p><p style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(0, 128, 255);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><strong style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);color: rgb(255, 255, 255);letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(0, 128, 255);visibility: visible;"> 05 </span></strong></strong></strong></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;letter-spacing: 0.034em;">父母该如何梳理内心，</span><br></strong></span></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 255);"><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;">更好地陪伴孩子健康成长</span></strong></span></p></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><br></p></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">第一、亲子关系是第一位的</span></strong></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">要珍惜自己和孩子的美好情感，这是人生最大最幸福的东西，千万不要把它完全替换成了高考分数或者挣多少钱，这些都是结果，不是原因也不是过程。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">不知道家长有没有这样的感觉，反正我是有的。在陪伴孩子成长的过程中，就好像人生都过了一遍，我们和孩子一起经历过的那些真的是美好的时光，养孩子这件事情本身我是被滋养到的。</span></p><p><br></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">第二、面对和帮助孩子时，要先处理好自己的情绪</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">家长要注意到，孩子是非常在乎你的情绪和感受的，你的情绪状态对孩子影响非常大。我们可能不知不觉把自己的负面情绪和压力带到家里带给孩子了。他本来压力很大，我们是要帮他减压的，但反过来我们可能还加压了。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">为什么家庭出问题了孩子会先出问题？因为全社会的压力层层传递，孩子是最末端的一个环节。</span></p></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><br></p></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><p><strong><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">第三、尽最大努力去学习理解孩子</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">家长要能看见孩子的烦恼和痛苦。有家长苦恼孩子一天到晚打游戏，我要告诉他个秘密，孩子打游戏没那么开心，相反他心里烦、有压力。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">我们要理解孩子是因为什么对学习失去了动力和热情，怎么样去帮助孩子保有可贵的对学习和生活的热情，这是最重要的。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;">用帮助孩子化解烦恼的思路去面对他的学习，很多东西就迎刃而解了。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;font-size: 15px;"><br></span></p><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(47, 47, 47);letter-spacing: 1px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(63, 63, 63);color: rgb(63, 63, 63);text-align: start;visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(47, 47, 47);letter-spacing: 1px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(63, 63, 63);color: rgb(63, 63, 63);text-align: start;visibility: visible;">—END—</span></strong></span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(47, 47, 47);letter-spacing: 1px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(63, 63, 63);color: rgb(63, 63, 63);text-align: start;visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.578px; font-size: 16px; visibility: visible;"><br></section></section>转载声明：本文转载自「心榜」，搜索「psytop」即可关注，[<a target="_blank" href="https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/hYZ3a29F-Ar0pg27_NaBZA">阅读原文</a>]。</div><p></p>
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