周娟：今天中小学生的问题，将会演变成另一种社会问题
<div class="wx_rich_media_content" id="jsWxContainer"><section data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="text-align: center; letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><br></section><section data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;text-indent: 0em;text-align: unset;background-color: rgb(219, 238, 243);caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);outline: 0px;color: rgb(86, 86, 86);font-family: PingFangSC-Light;visibility: visible;">当下，中小学生心理健康问题已经引起社会广泛关注。为什么我们的孩子变得脆弱了，承压能力差了？究竟发生了什么？</span></section><section data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;text-indent: 0em;text-align: unset;background-color: rgb(219, 238, 243);caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);outline: 0px;color: rgb(86, 86, 86);font-family: PingFangSC-Light;visibility: visible;"><br></span></section><section data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;text-indent: 0em;text-align: unset;background-color: rgb(219, 238, 243);caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);outline: 0px;color: rgb(86, 86, 86);font-family: PingFangSC-Light;visibility: visible;">本文，</span><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;text-indent: 0em;text-align: unset;background-color: rgb(219, 238, 243);caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);outline: 0px;color: rgb(86, 86, 86);font-family: PingFangSC-Light;visibility: visible;">与</span><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;text-indent: 0em;color: rgb(219, 238, 243);font-size: 17px;text-align: unset;background-color: rgb(219, 238, 243);font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 16px;text-indent: 0em;text-align: unset;color: rgb(86, 86, 86);font-family: PingFangSC-Light;visibility: visible;">你分享华中农业大学社会学系副教授周娟</span><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(86, 86, 86);font-family: PingFangSC-Light;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1.8px;text-align: unset;text-indent: 0em;visibility: visible;">的深度解读。</span></span></section><section data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"><br></span></section><section data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);">近期，“儿童精神科爆满”“消失的课间十分钟”等话题陆续引发热议，而《2023年中国精神心理健康》蓝皮书指出，初中生抑郁检出率高达50%，成为众多家长的心头病。</span></section><p style="outline: 0px; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px; visibility: visible;"><br></span></p><p style="outline: 0px; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px; visibility: visible;">有评论指出，</span><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">在指责孩子“心灵脆弱”之前，应反思他们所处的社会环境。在基本告别匮乏时代后，我们的孩子到底在遭遇什么？又会产生何种社会影响？</span></strong></strong></p><p style="outline: 0px; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"><br></span></p><p style="outline: 0px; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">我们的孩子怎么了？这是诸多教育者和家长都在追问的一个问题。越来越“轻易”犯重罪的青少年，越来越“轻易”自杀的青少年，越来越普遍的青少年心理问题。是我们的孩子出问题了吗？越来越多的学校设置了心理咨询室、心理诊疗室，试图通过心理治疗和干预来“拯救”我们的孩子。但我们要先了解我们的孩子到底怎么了。</span></p><p style="outline: 0px; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<strong style="font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(64, 118, 0);visibility: visible;"><strong><span style="text-decoration-style: solid; text-decoration-color: rgb(64, 118, 0);"><br></span></strong></span></strong></p><p style="outline: 0px; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<strong style="font-size: 20px; letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(64, 118, 0);visibility: visible;"><strong><span style="text-decoration-style: solid; text-decoration-color: rgb(64, 118, 0);">脆弱的孩子</span></strong></span></strong></p><section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;"><br></section></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">脆弱，是媒体话语中青少年的一个重要特征。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">2020年，武汉一名14岁男生因被母亲当众扇耳光而跳楼。而青少年因为不让玩手机，或者被老师批评而自杀的新闻比比皆是。看到这些新闻，听到这些事，80后以及更老一代的人会说：“现在的孩子怎么这么脆弱，打不得、骂不得，想我们当年被家长和老师打骂是常事，也没听说谁自杀啊。”</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">内心脆弱已是老师、家长以及心理治疗机构对现在孩子特征的一个总结，在家庭育儿、学校教育以及心理治理机构中，对孩子的挫折教育、抗逆教育已成为重要内容之一。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><br></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">可是我们的孩子为什么变得“脆弱”了？是因为他们遇到的挫折太少了？每个时代有每个时代的“挫折”，每个孩子也有每个孩子的“挫折”，生活的挫折不会少，只是可能类型变了。对于80年代的孩子来说，也许吃不上自己想吃的东西是挫折，不能按时交给老师学费是挫折，而对于现在的孩子，父母没给买想要的玩具、不让玩手机就是挫折。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">其实不是遭受的挫折少了，而是孩子面对挫折时的接受能力变弱了。</span></strong></strong><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">可为什么孩子变得脆弱了？<span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span></span></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86);font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: 1px;text-align: unset;"><br></strong></p><p style="text-align: center;">、</p><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<strong style="font-size: 20px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(64, 118, 0);visibility: visible;"><strong><span style="text-decoration-style: solid;text-decoration-color: rgb(64, 118, 0);">沉默的孩子</span></strong></span></strong><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;"><br></section></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">沉默，是孩子们让老师感到既恐慌又无奈的另一重要特征。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">一个有30年从教经验的乡镇中学校长曾这样跟我们描述现在的状况：</span><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">现在最让我们老师感到无力的，不是他们（学生）调皮捣蛋不好管教，调皮捣蛋的反而好管教，而是他们的沉默。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">以前学校是因打架的多难管理，现在同学间都不打架了，都闷头谈恋爱、玩游戏。尤其是男生，没有了豁达和朝气，都提不起精气神，也不知道他们在想什么，也不打架，也不说话，你说什么他们都没有回应和反应，父母、老师都走不进他们的内心世界，他们不愿意与别人沟通，也没有与别人沟通的欲望与需求。并且他们并没有挫败感和压力感，成绩只考了几分也完全不在乎，很安于现状，没有动力。这样的学生在他们学校占1/4的比例。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">他们就像被带入了另一个世界，就是手机的世界、游戏的世界。</span></strong></strong><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">老师和家长都无法将他们拉回，在这个世界与那个世界之间，有一层透明的壁，阻隔了两边的信息交流，这边的声音传不过去，那边的声音传不过来，任我们在这边呐喊和呼唤，孩子们是背着身、低着头、看他们的手机，听不见，也看不见，他们也不想听见、不想看见。我们绝望，他们却冷漠而淡定。我们进不去，他们却不屑走出来。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">我们看到的是他们的沉默，但他们在那个世界也许是愉快的、活跃的，只是大人们无从得知、一无所知。沉默，也许意味着我们正在“失去”我们的孩子。</span></strong></strong></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;"><p><br></p><p style="text-align: center;">、</p><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<strong style="letter-spacing: 0.544px;font-size: 20px;outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(64, 118, 0);visibility: visible;"><strong><span style="text-decoration-style: solid;text-decoration-color: rgb(64, 118, 0);">可怜的孩子</span></strong></span></strong><br></section><p style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;line-height: 1.75em;"><br></p></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">可怜，这却是与沉默的孩子相对的另一群孩子的特征，也就是校长所说的被家长特别重视、学习态度特别好的那部分学生。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">与没人管、管不了的孩子相反，这些孩子所有的时间都被管理得很好，甚至被管理得太好。</span></strong></strong><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">从星期一到星期天，从早上7点到晚上9点，所有的时间都是有规划的，有安排的，甚至从晚上9点到早上7点的睡觉时间也在“睡眠管理”的范畴内，不能不睡，不能晚睡，也早睡不了。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">时间管理本没有错，但问题是这所有的时间管理都是围绕着“学习”</span></strong></strong><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">，见过太多的孩子所有课外时间都被“学习班”填满，太多的家长给孩子报了所有市面上能有的学习班。普遍的状况是，低年级的孩子被学习班所困，高年级的孩子被作业所困，初中学生做作业到12点以后是常态，不是孩子做得慢，而是作业就有那么多。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">当然也听到很多的家长抱怨孩子没时间玩、没时间睡觉，只是家长在抱怨的时候，似乎也并没有停止给孩子报班、督促孩子写作业。家长的理由也很充分，“我们能怎么办？大家都这么卷，我们不卷就是害了孩子。”</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">我观察过这些孩子，也与他们对过话。他们普遍身体不是很强壮，很多甚至很瘦弱。他们真的算得上“很乖”，尤其女孩子，乖巧得让人心疼。安静地接受着家长的安排，也许最开始时有过不情愿和反抗的，但慢慢就习惯了，甚至内化了，将大量的学习班和作业的完成内化成“这本就是我应该做的事”“是份内的事”，“其他同学不都这样吗？”甚至，一些孩子还会主动要求上，甚至强烈要求上学习班，因为别的孩子都在上。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">他们内心也有很多瞬间的“崩溃”和“哀嚎”，但崩溃、哀嚎很快就会被压制下去，快速“回归正轨”，甚至在崩溃、哀嚎的同时都还在完成学习任务，毕竟没有太多多余的时间让他们去浪费。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">曾经在网上看到一个家长说过这样一句话：“知道为什么女生的成绩越来越比男生好吗？因为女孩子比男孩子更耐‘卷’更抗‘鸡’（娃）。”这是女孩子的幸运还是悲哀？</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><p style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;text-align: center;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 0.544px;font-size: 20px;outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(64, 118, 0);visibility: visible;"><strong><span style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;text-decoration-style: solid;text-decoration-color: rgb(64, 118, 0);">撕裂的孩子</span></strong></span></strong></p><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section data-role="title" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="115971" style="letter-spacing: 0.544px;outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;"><section style="outline: 0px;line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="outline: 0px; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"></span></section><section style="outline: 0px;line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="outline: 0px; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"><br></span></section></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">撕裂首先发生的“好孩子”和“坏孩子”之间。即使是在同一所学校，同一个班级，“好孩子”和“坏孩子”之间却是界限分明，隔离严重。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">对于“坏孩子”来说，“好孩子”“没意思”也“惹不起”。没意思是因为“他们只会搞学习，我们说的东西他们都不懂，说不到一块去，他们和我们就像两个世界的人”。惹不起是因为“无论是谁的错，到了老师那，千错万错都是我们的错，谁让我们是差生呢，他们可是被老师重点保护的对象”。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">对于“好孩子”来说，“坏孩子”让他们既羡慕又不屑，羡慕他们的“恣意”，因为那是他们想做却做不了的，又不屑他们的“恣意”，因为那是被家长、学校乃至社会所“唾弃”的。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">就这样，</span><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">同在一片天空下，同在一个教室内，同在一个童年中，“好孩子”和“坏孩子”却像是两个世界的人，少有交流，难有理解，甚至会有对立，这种不交流、不理解、不包容何尝不会延伸到他们长大之后，进而成为他们阶层之间的鸿沟。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">撕裂还发生在孩子的内在。即使是“坏孩子”，也会渴望被看见、被认同、被称赞，他们也会在“堕落”和“向好”中挣扎，“沉默”是这种挣扎的结果之一，且是最坏的结果。即使是“好孩子”，也会渴望玩耍、“放纵”，他们也会在“放纵”和“克制”间挣扎，完全被规训是这种挣扎的结果之一，且也是最坏的结果。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">本来，以上所有都是孩子的天性，也是人的本性，但我们（家长、老师、学校、社会）并没有给予充分释放、协调、平衡这些天性的空间，让孩子独自在这些撕裂中轻易地滑向一种极端。</span></strong></strong></section><section data-role="title" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="115971" style="letter-spacing: 0.544px;outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;"><section style="outline: 0px;line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="outline: 0px; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"><br></span></section><p style="text-align: center;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 0.544px;text-align: justify;font-size: 20px;outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(64, 118, 0);visibility: visible;"><strong><span style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;text-decoration-style: solid;text-decoration-color: rgb(64, 118, 0);">孤立的孩子</span></strong></span></strong></p><section style="outline: 0px;line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="outline: 0px; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"></span></section><section style="text-align: center; outline: 0px; line-height: 1.75em;"></section></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">孤立，这是我从以上各个角度看见的“孩子”的一个群体自画像。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">在或冷漠或亲密的家庭中，他们是孤立的；在坐满学生的教室、挤满学生的学校里，他们是孤立的；在熙熙攘攘、热闹喧嚣的人世间，他们是孤立的。</span><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">因为他们没有足够的时间、足够的空间和条件、足够的心理能量去和父母亲戚、同龄小伙伴以及这个社会交流、沟通以及产生联结。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">他们看似在家庭、学校和社会的包围中、关注和关爱中，却又与谁都没有过多地、深入的联系。</span><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">家庭、学校和社会所有的关注都围绕“成绩”，成绩才是他们关注的焦点，而不是孩子本身，而孩子所有的时间、精力和心理能量也都被用在“成绩”这一个目标上。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">就像，被家庭、学校和社会所紧紧围绕的每个孩子，头顶都有一束单独照向他的“光”，“光束”之外皆是黑暗和虚无，而这唯一的“光束”却是谓之“成绩”的东西，每个“光束”都是独立的，引导着孩子拼命奔向“它”的同时，也让孩子孤立于其周围的世界。光束无法连成片，黑暗却融为了一体。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><ul class="list-paddingleft-1"><li><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子需要足够的无目的的时间和无限的想象空间才能感受到自由，其在自由中才能感受到父母对其无条件的爱和包容，才能感受这个世界的美好；</span></section></li></ul><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><ul class="list-paddingleft-1"><li><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子需要与其他同龄群体的持久的、足够多的交往，才能产生“爱恨”的情感唤起，也只有在与同龄群体的游戏，甚至吵架打架中，才能学会妥协、谦让、尊重，也才能理解规范并学会遵守规范；</span></section></li></ul><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><ul class="list-paddingleft-1"><li><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子也只有在了解、倾听了大人世界的故事、成人的情感世界，才能慢慢了解和理解这个世界；</span></section></li></ul><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><ul class="list-paddingleft-1"><li><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">更为重要的是，只有在这些与他人的持久、深入的交往和联结中，他们才</span></strong></strong><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">能学会换位思考，也就才能产生同理心。而同理心是孩子包容他人、接纳这个世界的起点和基础。</span></strong></strong></section></li></ul><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">当孩子的校外时间不仅被学习填满，还被各种学习班打碎，当孩子的心灵都被学习任务和成绩追求所累，又如何能与家人亲戚、同龄群体形成持久的交往、产生深度的联结？</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">而校内时间，本身就是为学习而设，并且现在学校都秉持安全第一原则，课间都不会让孩子出教室，更别说嬉戏打闹和游戏，上课时间更是“不许讲话”。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">在寄宿制学校，为了好管理，更是要求除了吃饭时间，其他时间都最好呆在教室里，最忌“打闹”，晚上休息第一条就是“不许讲话”。甚至在幼儿园，小朋友首先被要求遵守的就是“不许讲话”，其次是“坐好不要动”。而以前最重要的作为孩子自己组织聚集、玩耍、游戏、打闹的场所即熟人社区早已不存在，甚至很多家庭都只生育一个孩子。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">无</span></strong></strong><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">论是从上下看，还是从左右看，我们的孩子，都是孤立的，孤立于家庭、学校和社会。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">很多人认为现在的年轻人“自我过剩”，即太自我，只顾自己，不想别人，说得难听点就是自私、狭隘。我觉得不是“自我过剩”，而是未能形成“自我”的后果。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">无论是在心理学还是社会学的相关理论中，都认为“自我”是在与他人的互动中形成的。儿童本应该通过各种交往和互动，在认识他人中认识自我，通过互动习得规范，但因在家庭、同龄群体和学校三个重要的社会化场所中，他们都是孤立的，缺乏互动和深入交流，也就难以完成社会化，并形成成熟、完整的“自我”。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">自私和狭隘是人在充分的自我认识基础上的算计，但我认为现在的年轻人的“自我”并不是这个意义上的自私和狭隘，而是一种社会化未完成、“自我”未完整的表现，即是一种“幼稚”或“幼态”。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><p style="letter-spacing: 0.578px;text-align: center;"><strong style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);text-align: justify;font-size: 20px;outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(64, 118, 0);visibility: visible;"><strong><span style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;text-decoration-style: solid;text-decoration-color: rgb(64, 118, 0);">无法生长出心灵之域的孩子</span></strong></span></strong></p><section data-role="title" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="115971" style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"><span style="color:#407600;font-family:P<span style="font-size: 20px;letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><br></strong></span></span></section></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">孤立的另一后果是，在孩子内心无法生长出心灵之域。什么是心灵之域？简单地说就是孩子心里的“秘密花园”。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">那里有神奇的自然，善懂人意的动物，贴心的小伙伴，心爱的玩具，喜爱的游戏，喜欢的人，只有自己知道的“地方”，也有可以自己一个人呆着的城堡或小木屋，在那里任何时候都可能发生让人想不到的神奇事件，那是他自己的世界。开心时他会进入这个秘密花园，受伤时他也会进入，他会躲进城堡独自开心或疗伤，也会通过与动物的沟通或与小伙伴的陪伴来分享快乐或分担痛苦。</span><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">这里是负面情绪的缓冲带、是积极情绪的扩大器、是与自己以及外在世界和解的调节域。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">我小时候，我妈和我爸经常吵架，有时还打架，我妈几乎天天打我，有时一天还不止打一顿，但无论是当时还是现在都没有给我产生多大心理创伤。因为我的心里“管理”着我们全村的果树和河沟里的鱼，以及我们家所有的动物，太忙了。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">谁家种了几棵什么果树，山上什么地方长了几颗野山楂、野山枣等，哪条田埂上长了棵大桑树；哪条水沟的水深水浅，哪条水沟多鳝鱼，哪条水沟多螃蟹虾米；哪个山坳多蜈蚣，哪个山坡多草药，哪个地方多毒蛇；什么果子该什么时候熟，什么时候该抓什么鱼，什么时候该去抓蜈蚣采草药；这所有的所有，我都了然于胸，且都认为它们都是我的。然后哪个朋友适合一起抓蜈蚣，哪个小伙伴适合一起摘果子，我也都清楚；还有家里，有和我最亲的小狗，有我捡回来的小猫，有我必须要负责一日三餐的猪以及鸡鸭，以及和我感情最好全靠我放养的老牛。</span><span style="font-size: var(--articleFontsize); text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">整个村就是我的“秘密花园”，一年四季甚至一个季节的不同月份，我都有自己要忙的事，我在我的秘密花园里自在又快乐。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="font-size: var(--articleFontsize); text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="font-size: var(--articleFontsize); text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">爸妈的吵架、妈妈的巴掌、学校同学的欺负……</span><span style="font-size: var(--articleFontsize); text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">便只成了我生活的一部分，甚至有时极度伤心痛苦的情绪会在骑在牛背上看到落日余晖的那一瞬间消散无踪。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">当你的生活和你的心灵有很多面向的时候，你就很难执着于一件事或一个人放不开，就很难把一个事尤其是一个困难看得很大很严重。</span><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">亦即，人的内心世界也是相对的，“事情”的大小取决于你内心的宽广度。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">而孩子心灵之域的宽度和广度，影响着孩子心灵的容度、想象力和丰富度。当他们没有时间接触自然、结交朋友、发展爱好时，当他们的目标只有单一的分数和学业表现时，就很难发展出丰富且宽广的心灵之域，要么荒芜如枯原，让游戏和手机迅速占领；要么只有父母和老师，然后父母和老师的情绪甚至替代了自己的情绪。</span></strong></strong><span style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; font-size: var(--articleFontsize); letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;">这让他们的情绪没有一个缓冲带，这让他们的情感单一而偏执。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">可以想象那个因母亲当众一个耳光而跳楼的14岁少年，也许他14年的生命时光里，在他的心灵之野，只有他的母亲和母亲的期望，当母亲失望的言语和巴掌席卷而来时，逼仄的心理空间便再也装不下那积累的情绪。也可以想象，当这些孩子心里的父母和老师的角色被某个明星替代后，其追星的狂热度。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">我外甥是“资深”网瘾少年，典型的不抬头、不说话、不吃饭，眼睛永远都在手机游戏里。有一次，趁着一个空当，我赶紧试图就他感兴趣的话题和他聊聊天，我问他游戏怎么那么好玩？我是想让他给我描述一下游戏到底有趣在什么地方，有哪些吸引他的元素。结果他回答：“太刺激了！”再问到底怎么个刺激法？回答：“就是太刺激了，太太刺激了！”再问，还是这个答案。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">我明白了，在他荒芜的只有游戏的心灵里，就没有存储丰富的“形容词”，只有一个“太刺激”能形容他最爱的游戏。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">不仅是我外甥，还有我访谈过的一些青少年，他们无法用词语表达自己的想法，更难用丰富的词汇来描述一些事情，无论是形容事件还是心情，无论是描述美好还是丑陋，都只会使劲用“非常”“很”“太”这几个副词。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">不会表达和描述的一个可能原因是长期的手机视频或游戏让他们缺乏对词语的掌握，另一可能的原因则是，他们已经失去了感受能力，内心本就没有想法。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">逼仄荒芜的心灵无法滋养出丰富多感的心灵，这导致很难产生自己的喜怒哀乐的同时，也很难感受他人的艰难和痛苦，很难理解这个世界的多元和丰富，也就难以包容这个世界中的异质性。网络上的各种对立，何尝不是无法包容多元性、异质性的表现。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;"><br></span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">而逼仄荒芜的心灵来源于一个逼仄荒芜的童年，而孩子们童年的苍白荒芜，不是孩子的错，是我们的错。</span></strong></strong></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section data-role="title" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="115971" style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"><br></section><p style="text-align: center;"><strong style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);text-align: justify;font-size: 20px;outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(64, 118, 0);visibility: visible;"><strong><span style="outline: 0px; visibility: visible; text-decoration-style: solid; text-decoration-color: rgb(64, 118, 0);">孩子之于社会</span></strong></span></strong></p><section data-role="title" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="115971" style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><br></section></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子之于社会的重要性不用说，这里只是想通过一些事情谈谈，荒芜的童年可能对社会产生的影响。</span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">一是，这些年在农村调研时发现，很多90后的父母都选择放弃在外务工回村陪小孩、管小孩，其中很多人给出的理由是“自己作为留守儿童长大，不想再让自己的孩子做留守儿童”。而在学校，的确是难管教的孩子、沉默的孩子多为留守儿童，留守儿童的学业成绩也普遍差一些。但是，这些90后、曾为留守儿童的父母们面临的一大困境是，他们也不知道该怎样管小孩，要么仍管不住、管不好，要么给孩子报很多学习班。换个角度，</span><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">他们只知道不能让孩子再当留守儿童，却并不知道孩子应该有个怎样的童年。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">二是，在和中学校长谈到青少年心理问题时，我顺口说了一句，现在高校大学生心理问题也越来越普遍，成了一个问题。校长很自然地接了一句：“因为他们也是从我们这上去的啊！”我愣了一瞬才回过神。是啊！校长的意思是，</span><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">今天的中小学生的问题并不仅仅是中小学生的问题，他们会长大，会变成大学生，会变成社会中的青少年，但问题并不会随着他们的长大而消失，而是会演变成另一种社会问题。</span></strong></strong></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="letter-spacing: 0.578px; outline: 0px; visibility: visible; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="text-align: unset; color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px;">三是，美国学者格雷格·卢金诺夫和乔纳森·海特认为，当代美国大学生偏执易感、见火就着、动辄得咎，以及缺乏包容性等等特征，</span><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">很重要的一个原因在于其在教育竞争中所缺失的童年，而大学生们的这</span></strong></strong><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86); font-family: PingFangSC-light; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset; outline: 0px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-family: PingFangSC-light;font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(13, 116, 138);visibility: visible;">种特性成为产生当今美国大学一些问题的直接原因，甚至一些社会问题的直接原因。</span></strong></strong></section><section powered-by="xiumi.us"><section data-role="title" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="115971" style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"><br></section><section data-role="title" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="115971" style="outline: 0px;caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"><section data-role="title" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="115971" style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;outline: 0px;"><section style="caret-color: rgb(86, 86, 86);color: rgb(86, 86, 86);font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: normal;text-indent: 0em;line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86);text-align: unset;letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">来源 | </span></strong></strong></span><span style="letter-spacing: 1px; text-align: unset;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.25px; text-align: center; caret-color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="text-decoration-style: solid; text-decoration-color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">新乡土</span></span></span></section></section><section data-role="title" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="115971" style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;outline: 0px;"><section style="caret-color: rgb(86, 86, 86);color: rgb(86, 86, 86);font-family: PingFangSC-light;letter-spacing: normal;text-indent: 0em;line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86);text-align: unset;letter-spacing: 1px;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86);"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><strong style="color: rgb(86, 86, 86);"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">作者 | </span></strong></span></strong></span></strong><span style="font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.25px; text-align: center; caret-color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="text-decoration-style: solid; text-decoration-color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">周娟（<span style="text-decoration-style: solid; text-decoration-color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">华中农业大学社会学系副教授</span>）</span></span></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; widows: 1; font-family: -apple-system-font, system-ui, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<br></section></section></section></section></section>转载声明：本文转载自「心理提升课堂」，搜索「xlkt002」即可关注，[<a target="_blank" href="https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/avWaI9_c_Pb2ghhiB__A_w">阅读原文</a>]。</div><p></p>
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