扎心！毁掉一个孩子，催他，催他，催他……
<div style="max-width:677px !important;"><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com" data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><p style="display: none;" data-tools="西瓜插件，运行于电脑浏览器上的插件，可在公众号后台找优质文章素材，一键美化排版，检测文章违规，查看任意公众号粉丝阅读数" data-label="Power by：chajian.xiguaji.com"><br></p><section style="display: none;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="display: none;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: none;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="display: none;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="display: none;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">作者：居潇潇</span><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">来源：萨提亚育儿（ID：satiryuer）</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">今天一大早，邻居家就闹腾上了，妈妈的吼声和孩子的哭声响彻整栋楼。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1px;"> </span></section><section style="white-space: normal;font-size: 15px;line-height: 1.8;box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="transform: rotate(0deg);box-sizing: border-box;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="padding: 5px;display: inline-block;width: 562px;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 3px;border-style: solid;border-left-color: rgba(205, 205, 205, 0.87);border-right-color: rgba(205, 205, 205, 0.87);box-sizing: border-box;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="color: rgb(128, 128, 128);line-height: 1.6;box-sizing: border-box;"><p>“跟你说了多少遍，快点，快点，快点，就是不听！你再这么磨蹭今天别出门了！”</p><p><br></p><p>“一个鞋子穿这么久，我看你就是故意的！”</p><p><br></p><p>“吃早饭吃大半天，穿衣服恨不得穿半小时，说了快迟到了，你还给我慢吞吞的……”</p></section></section></section></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1px;">随着电</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1px;">梯关门，母子俩的声音这才渐渐远去，这场“闹剧”终于告一段落。</span><br><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">“被迫旁听”的我，除了感慨带娃不易之外，对“催孩子”的可怕程度也有了更深的认识。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">在这些密集催促的言语中，旁人尚且能感受到巨大压力，孩子又会遭受怎样的伤害？</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">“要想毁掉一个孩子，就狠狠地催他”，这句话从来不是开玩笑。</span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></strong></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span>https://www.gongyi020.com/data/attachment/forum/202104/06/d8ebb645a5a00b87bfc605d29378dbb2.png</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 106, 96);"><strong><span style="color: rgb(0, 106, 96);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">每个慢孩子背后，都有个急家长</span></strong></span><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">生活中，“爱磨蹭”的孩子和“急性子”家长似乎总是同时出现。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">在急性子爸妈眼里，孩子的一举一动都透着“慢”，吃饭时的发呆是磨蹭，走路时突然的停顿是磨蹭，穿衣穿鞋的笨拙是磨蹭，时不时冒出的稀奇古怪的问题也是磨蹭。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">其实，与其说这“一快一慢”天生不合拍，不如说，急性子爸妈们不知不觉被自己的“傲慢”蒙蔽了双眼。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);">这种傲慢的本质，是自恋，是控制欲，也是不平等。</span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">还记得杨烁父子上《爸爸去哪儿》时，杨烁对儿子“凶神恶煞”的样子被无数网友抨击。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span>https://www.gongyi020.com/data/attachment/forum/202104/06/05a46893b1bb1fac9c6227badf647edb.gif</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子人小腿短，在崎岖的山路上走得慢些，他就恶狠狠地说，再这么慢，马上退回到起点重新走。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span>https://www.gongyi020.com/data/attachment/forum/202104/06/e37aaa726f38f6961bc108ae0c4087f0.jpeg</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">被爸爸威胁之后，孩子的步伐颤颤巍巍的，速度未见提高多少，但脸上的神色却是充满惊恐和不安。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">另一位湖南株洲的妈妈就更“厉害”了。她为了催孩子做作业，硬生生催断了自己的肋骨。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span>https://www.gongyi020.com/data/attachment/forum/202104/06/983b207863a3d49679fa1da0a7c38c5c.png</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">她坦言，自己催孩子学习已经成了家常便饭，那天因为孩子只顾着玩游戏，迟迟不肯开始做作业，她如往常一样边催促边唠叨。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">没想到刚怒吼了一嗓子，身体一阵剧烈疼痛，急急忙忙进了医院才发现，肋骨骨折了。回到家，孩子自然是被狠狠地教育了一通。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span>https://www.gongyi020.com/data/attachment/forum/202104/06/79bae84d87d3687c7b2c21c8c45b3c22.png</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">但是，很少有人思考，强势催娃的爸妈真的得偿所愿了吗？并没有。他们不仅没能让娃顺利加快速度，还会陷入“越催越慢”的怪圈。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">法国儿童精神专家克里斯丁·弗拉维尼曾对此做过研究，她发现，经常被父母催促的孩子，长大后要么成了“</span><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);">极度依赖型</span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">”，事事不主动，全凭家长安排，要么成了“</span><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);">极度反叛型</span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">”，专门和父母意见对着干。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">这两种类型背后，暴露出孩子同一种态度：</span><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);">非暴力不合作</span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">他们并不激烈反抗，只是通过消极应对的方式，表达自己的不满。这种“你越催我，我越不想做”的心态一旦形成了习惯，孩子将彻底丧失生活与学习的主动性。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">不知不觉中，爸妈的催促、怒吼和嫌弃，成了刺向孩子的尖刀。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 106, 96);"><strong><span style="color: rgb(0, 106, 96);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">催孩子的后果原来这么可怕……</span></strong></span><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">前几天，闺蜜和我抱怨儿子吃饭磨蹭，她说儿子明明以前在幼儿园吃得好好的，这段时间一直在家，一到吃饭就各种不配合，非得奶奶在屁股后面追着跑。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">其中一句话让我印象最深：“一顿饭我们估计要说几十次‘快点吃，饭菜要冷了’，真感觉自己生了个祖宗。”</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">我直接问她：“你们有没有试过干脆就不催他，让他自己吃？”</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">闺蜜迟疑了半天才回：“我们追着喂，他都吃这么慢，要是让他自己动手，速度慢不说，还得弄得到处都是，不是更麻烦了吗？”</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">这恰恰暴露了大多数家长“催孩子”的真实心理。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">有时候，孩子并不是不会做一件事，也不是不愿意独立完成，但家长们往往连机会都不给，一通“催促+责怪”的冷水当头浇下来，硬生生把他们想尝试的念头都熄灭了。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">心理学上有个概念叫“</span><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);"><strong>习得性无助</strong></span><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">”，说的正是这种情况。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">当一个人总是被否定、被认为做不好一件事，久而久之，他就会真正陷入到自我怀疑之中：“反正我做不好的，那我干脆就不做吧。”</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">很显然，这与爸妈催促的初衷背道而驰，但孩子却会把那些催促中说的气话当了真。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">同时，</span><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);"><strong>“催孩子”还有一个隐性伤害：情绪失控。</strong></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">回想一下，每当催孩子快点时，爸妈们的心理状态是怎样的？</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">一定是急躁、不耐烦的，有时甚至伴着暴怒。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span>https://www.gongyi020.com/data/attachment/forum/202104/06/4e038f3967f80baf73793233e66e097f.jpeg</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">在这种强烈的负面情绪影响下，父母一方面会口不择言，对孩子施加语言暴力，另一方面也会不知不觉将焦虑与不安传递给孩子，加剧他们的拖拉。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">美国密歇根大学的伊桑博士通过实验证实，<strong>当人遭遇语言暴力时，大脑区域同样能感受到痛觉，这种痛觉与肉体痛觉能达到几乎相同的级别。</strong></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">另一项研究结果更触目惊心。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;"><br></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">那些经常被吼叫、被痛骂的孩子，大脑结构会发生不可逆的改变，这种改变会影响他们处理感觉信号，还会降低控制情绪的能力，甚至提高罹患抑郁症、焦虑症的概率。</span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子在听到那些催促和痛斥时，哪怕外表若无其事，但内心早已伤痕累累。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">当爸妈以为自己只是习惯性地催孩子，是“为孩子好”，实际上却可能造成了无法挽回的伤害。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 106, 96);"><strong><span style="color: rgb(0, 106, 96);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">与其催孩子，不如这么做</span></strong></span><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">好孩子不是催出来的，也不是吼出来的。与其喋喋不休地催促，不如记住这四个养育原则。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><ul class="list-paddingleft-2" style="list-style-type: circle;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><li style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;font-weight: bold;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 169, 0);"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">让孩子形成时间观念。</span></strong></span></section></li></ul><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">很多时候，孩子还没来得及对时间形成概念，就已经被贴上了“拖拉”的标签，这对他们是不公平的。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">尤其对于低龄孩子来说，爸妈们首先要做的，是带领他们拥有时间概念，比如认识钟表，认识时间的衡量方式和单位，等等。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">当他们知道，长长的分针走一个数字是5分钟，细细的秒针走一圈是60秒，他们才能对时间逐渐建立感性的认识，并在此基础上衍生出“守时”、“快与慢”的概念。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">这样，当爸妈与孩子沟通时，就不用急吼吼地重复“快点快点”，而是用“还有十分钟就出发”，这样的表达更精准，也更理性。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><ul class="list-paddingleft-2" style="list-style-type: circle;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><li style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;font-weight: bold;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 169, 0);"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">分清“假磨蹭”和“真懒惰”。</span></strong></span></section></li></ul><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子的天性是探索世界，很多在大人眼中平平无奇的生活琐事，在他们看来充满奇思妙想。出于好奇，他们会停下来试图搞明白，不经意就成了“磨蹭”。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">为人父母，我们要做的是引路人，而不是拦路虎。</span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;"></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">如果孩子看似磨蹭，其实是在观察新事物，适应新环境，这时我们不如大方地给出更多时间，与他们一起交流，答疑解惑，给充足的时间，让他们有机会变快变熟练。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">如果孩子的行为的确是惰性使然，那我们也不能包庇姑息，要严肃地给孩子立下最基本的规矩和底线，避免“一懒毁所有”。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><ul class="list-paddingleft-2" style="list-style-type: circle;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><li style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);font-weight: bold;"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);">身教胜于言传。</span></strong></section></li></ul><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">想让孩子加快速度、提高效率，最好的办法是父母以身作则。现代都市人常常自嘲“拖延症晚期”，能晚一分钟出门、晚一天提交工作任务都绝不提前，这样的耳濡目染，很难不让孩子受到拖拉敷衍的负面影响。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">不如化抽象为具体，当孩子做事拖拉的时候，明确告诉他们后果，“如果不能在规定时间内穿好衣服鞋子，你就不能出门玩了”。日常多和孩子进行时间上的约定，并严格执行。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">当整个家都处在有节律、有目标的生活环境之中，孩子自然也会学着专注、高效、不拖延。</span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><ul class="list-paddingleft-2" style="list-style-type: circle;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><li style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);font-weight: bold;"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(255, 169, 0);">父母对孩子最深沉的爱，是允许孩子慢下来。</span></strong></section></li></ul><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">养育孩子就是等待花开，而花开是需要时间的。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">在这个过程中，我们精心呵护、按时浇灌，只为有朝一日，可爱的花骨朵会绽放，然后拥有自己的精彩。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">龙应台曾在《孩子，你慢慢来》一书中写道：</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">我，坐在斜阳浅照的台阶上，</span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><br></span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">望着这个眼睛清亮的小孩专心地做一件事。</span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><br></span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">是的，我愿意等上一辈子的时间，</span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><br></span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">让他从从容容地把这个蝴蝶结扎好，</span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><br></span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">用他5岁的手指。</span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><br></span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">孩子，慢慢来，慢慢来....</span></strong></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">她没有催促，没有暴怒，只是静静地看着，为孩子的那份专注，她给出了最大的包容和耐心。也恰恰是这份从容等候的心境，蕴藏着为人父母的大智慧。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">正如美国诗人梭罗说：<strong>“如果一棵树一开始成长得比较慢，它以后必然有强大的根基。我相信人类的成长也是如此。”</strong></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;">所以，不要催，不要吼，不要伤害，父母对孩子最深沉的爱，是允许孩子慢下来。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">本文作者：居潇潇。本文首发平台：萨提亚育儿（ID：satiryuer），传播萨提亚、NLP、催眠、家排、NLP教练技术、亲密关系等实用心理学，与大师相遇，让心理学快速改变你的人生。</span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1px;font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><br></span></section>
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